Because of You
by Faith Everdeen
Summary: This is the prequel to my other fic 'Maximum Ride: Angel's Experiment'. Basically, its the story of Fang's mom Kim. R
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Rose here!  
Faith is on holiday on France which leave me to post this for her.... thanks Faith.  
its also her birthday today so y'know Happy Bday Faith...  
this is the prequel to her other fanfic 'Maximum Ride: Angel's Experiment' which you should read.**

**If you dont, to summarise, this is the story of Kim, Fang's Mum.**

**Because of You**

**PART 1** _Evangeline_

_I'm so tired of being here, _

_suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave,_

_I wish that you would just leave  
' Cos your presence still lingers here_

_it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal,_

_this pain is just too real,  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried,_

_I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream,_

_I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have _

_all of me_

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light_  
_Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind_  
_Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams_  
_Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal,_

_this pain is just too real_  
_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried,_

_I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, _

_I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have_

_all of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_  
_But though you're still with me,_

_I've been alone all along_

_When you cried,_

_I'd wipe away all of your tears_  
_When you'd scream, _

_I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

I lie on the floor and look at the air above me, look at the swirling dust particles, the vast nothingness. It scares me, how big it is, stretching as far as I can see, through the ceiling and up, going on and on. I try to move my legs, my arms, _anything_, but I'm stuck in the heavy nothingness. I'll stay here forever, in the nothingness, unable to move. I can hear the bubbling voices downstairs, so close, so _reachable_, but so far away, so lost. Footsteps echo along the hallway, coming to a stop inches from my knotted hair, my face. A face looms over me, and I peer up at it, trying to see through the thick, smoky air. At the face I am never _ever_ going to let help me up off the floor and out of the nothingness.

So I rewind, go back, look at what my life was one week ago, and I can pinpoint the exact day when it all went wrong and I ended up passed out on the floor of someone I didn't even know.

I'm sitting at the old oak table, trying not to rub my arm along it too hard and get a splinter, it's so roughly cut. I'm making the most of the little time I have to myself, to eat before everyone else appears and shatters my little world of silence. I scrape away at my oatmeal as I read the newspaper: none of the war or murder stories, just the book reviews or those kooky little stories about four-foot-long rabbits and stuff.

I'm halfway through the rabbit story (called Phoebe, aged six years) when Victoria appears. She stomps down the stairs, her thick dark hair falling in her face with each step she takes, making each step heavy, before throwing herself down in the seat opposite mine, making it creak and groan. I frown at her. I mean, she's never been renowned for her silence, but she could be a little quieter. She catches my look and scowls at me, scrunching up her pretty little face. "Glad to see you're in a good mood, as usual." She snarls at me and I sigh. The thing is, I had been before she appeared with all her noise and spiteful thoughts, cluttering up my peace. She pours herself some oatmeal, then begins shovelling it in her mouth at a speed that would have been quite alarming for anyone else. I let her carry on like this for a while, then clear my throat. "Umm...i can't walk home from school today. I have to visit the library." She frowns, then looks at me beseechingly, Phase One of the famous Victoria method. "But Kiiiiiim," she whines at me, "That means I'll have to go to Harvey's, and you _know_ I hate Harvey…" She presses her eyebrows together in the middle, showing me her heartbroken face. I shake my head.

"No."

"But…!"

"But what?"

"But that's not fair!!!"

"No."

She glares at me for a moment, then opens her mouth and _shrieks_.

"You are so mean to me!!! I hate you!!! Selfish, greedy, self-obsessed pig!!! I wish you were never born!! Stupid, fat loser!!! I hate you!!! You ruin everything!!!"

And with that she stomps back up the stairs, where I hear her collide with Mom, closely followed by more shrieking.

"I hate sixth grade!!! I hate school!!! I hate you!!! I hate Kim!!!"

I use the noise to slip out to the door so I can grab my bag and leave before anybody can stop me.

I walk along the street, scuffing the sidewalk with my toe. Or the toe of my boot with the sidewalk, whatever. I walk into school, which is pretty deserted at this time, and collapse at my desk in the homeroom.

I don't have to wait long. Soon enough, Sugar's bushy black head of curls pokes itself through the doorframe, and she scuttles in so she can launch herself at me.

"Kiiiiimmmiiee!!!! How was your weekend?? How come you didn't call me???"

That's the thing with Sugar. Sure, she's my childhood friend and she tells me everything and understands what's happened even when nobody's told her anything, but she's _clingy_. Like, overly. Like, I don't need my mom to look after me _cos I've got Sugar_. Which can be good…or bad. But she can always be relied upon to appear in our homeroom right after me, no matter how early it is. I smile and shrug and answer her questions as I watch the students milling around below me, checking who's here and who's not. The door flaps open again and Leah appears. Despite walking to school with Sugar, she always manages to make some sort of detour around campus. But she's nice and was once my best friend, which I guess counts for something other than how my life has changed since I was thirteen and actually cared.

It's already break by the time I find Evangeline. She wasn't in Math, presumably because she couldn't get out of bed in time, but I wasn't particularly bothered by it. She always comes in the end. She knows I'll kill her if she doesn't. But anyway, there she is, and just seeing her makes me feel alive, or at least gives me enough energy to bounce along over to her and hug her too hard, making her cough and choke. Because Evangeline is overly emotional, generally grumpy and really quite strange. She's my best friend in the whole entire history of the world. But don't tell Sugar I said that. As far as she is concerned, we are best friends, I am going to be a vet and when we are both twenty one we're going to share an apartment in New York, painted lilac, our joint favourite colour. Just like it always has been since third grade. Just like she wants it to stay.

The day drags on as normal: I try to spend as much time as possible with Evangeline, Sugar tries to stop me. I find Alexa, therefore completing my list of People I Like, and manage to hold on to her for a few second before she rushes off to redo her eyeliner. I daydream my way through History, splot my way through art and just about sleep through double biology.

It drags and drags until suddenly it's all over and I'm free to run down the stairs and out before anyone else has a chance, getting me home in record speed.

Mom's there, in the kitchen, and she spots me before I can hide.

"Hey, Kim!"

Note the bright, cheery tone not quite covering the fact that she has _no idea_ what the hell she is doing with that packet of noodles.

"Hey, Mom."

"How was your day??"

"Meh. Okay, I guess. We had a substitute for Math."

"Oh. Okay. Where's Victoria?"

"Walking by herself. Well, with Harvey. I need to go to the library."

"Bye, then."

And there you have it, out daily rigmarole. I wish.

"Um, Kim? Wait a second."

"Yeah…?"

"I was talking to Evangeline's mom today."

Oh, jeezum.

"Yes?"

"We were talking about you two."

Obviously. It's all they ever do talk about.

"And?"

"We were thinking…you're both fifteen now…and we thought it might be a good time for you to start going out. You know, to parties and things."

"Going out??? Parties???"

"Well that's what everyone else does, right?"

"Yes. They do. And they drink and smoke and vomit and take drugs and lose their virginity and end up curled up in a ball on the stairs, passed out."

"Well, you don't know that."

"Yes, I do. I have to hear them talk about it every Monday morning, don't I?"

"I, We just think that maybe it would be good for you to do that, _have fun_."

"Have fun. _Sure_."

"_Oh, Kimberly_."

"_Kim_."

"Kim, then. Please? Just one? If you don't like it you'll never have to go again."

"Ever?"

"_Ever_."

"If I so much as vomit, fall down stairs, _trip up_?"

"I will never say a word about it again."

"Fine then. But I'll hate it."

"_Yay!_ You can take Victoria too."

Oh, joy.

* * *

_My first chapter of Kim. Yay!!_

_Please R&R (nicely, please)_

_Faith xxxxx_


	2. ANkinda

Hey guys. It's Rose – again.  
I'm writing this on behalf of Faith (my stepsister) who asked me if I could post a little notice here.  
so, you all probably know about that delightful little cloud of ash floating above our heads (well, above _my _head anyway – it depends where you are).  
anyway, yeah, volcanic ash in the sky means the airspace is closed off. So no one can get in or out. and guess who that includes...  
right, because of all people, Faith would be one to get stuck in Portugal with no way to get home, wouldn't she?  
so with her being stuck hundreds of miles away, she can't post anything for the foreseeable future. She's not even going to be _home _for the foreseeable future, so you know, don't expect any more chapters up for a while.  
I don't know when she'll be back... some say a few days, others 2 weeks. Basically, no one has a clue. Which is always helpful. But still, don't give up on this fic! Also, check out her other fics while you're at it, and leave some nice reviews so when she eventually _does _get back (if ever) she'll have something to make her smile. just like that.

Hmm...on the one hand, I really miss her. I mean, she's my sister and my best friend and her gone is just weird and totally sucks.

On the other hand, the house is much quieter :D so maybe it's not all bad. And! I can borrow her stuff without her even noticing. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh! And check out my fics too. :) please? Thanks.

See you all sooner than I'll probably see Faith,

Rose xx (Everdeen) xx

ps. And if any of you are in Portugal, look out for a girl who looks like Max, has her iPod in, is probably reading SOF/TFW and looks miserable. That's Faith tell her I said hi and that she better hurry up and get home soon.

Pps. I'm not sure why, in the last post, I said she was in France. I _was _doing my French homework at the time, so maybe I just got confused.....

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there  
bet it sucks, see my face everywhere  
it was you, who chose to end it like you did  
I was the last to know  
you knew, exactly what you would do  
don't say, you simply lost you're way  
they may believe you, but I never will  
never again

^^^ Never again – Kelly Clarkson

Just fits Max after FANG...or in ANGEL if the synopsis is true.

Okay, okay. I'm going.

Bye!


	3. More about that damned ash Grrr

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silly girl. I miss you too! But i´m gonna stop thinking about it before i burst into tears (again).

So, i´m still stuck in stupid, Godforsaken Portugal (No offence, Portugal, i just kinda hate you right now for being such a stupid prison.)

Just wanted to say...thank you for being so nice and understanding. And if you were wondering how long i´m going to sit here crying on my suitcase, we finally get to leave on Friday. By coach. Which will take 36 hours. ON A COACH. Great.

So i´m a little worked up over that. And the fact that less than 24 hours after i get home, i get launched head first into my GCSEs. Wonderful. No wondering i´m hardly sleeping nowadays.

And FYI, it´s only in Rose´s opinion that i look like Max. And if i do, it´s a slightly sunburnt Max right now. And don´t you dare use my stuff, young lady!!!!!

Love you all.

Love Rose.

Love, Faith.

xxxx


	4. Chapter 2

I'm still having my fabulous continuous panic attack about our wonderful situation when I walk into English. Now, being my own little geeky self, I love English. It's like, you can just hang out all lesson and everything's all relaxed, then you get given hours to write stuff and make it as kooky as you like. It's practically a free lesson. And, of course, there's Mr Bennett. But let's start with me walking into the classroom, pretty damn early due to my last class being almost directly on top of this one and also right near the stairwell. So there I am, striding in, right behind Adam, who's also in my last class and beats me, just about, on the dorky scale. I walk around the desks and plonk myself in my chair, pulling the window shut with a firm "Sir, it's freezing!" in the direction of the …jolly looking guy at the front of the class.

How to describe Mr Bennett? Well, He's old- like, fifty sevenish -, has hair that's a mixture of kinda reddy brown and silver and a big, happy and sort of ruddy face. He's also completely over the moon at the prospect of having a class of complete lunatic misfits for three years. Oh, yeah. That's us. My class, I mean. Unfortunately. And I, by sitting at the front (no, not by choice) get to witness his elatedness first-hand.

"Kim!" He beams at me. "Do you have an essay for me, by any chance?"

"Umm…" I rack my brains. "Which essay?"

"Sherlock Holmes?"

"Oh. I'll, um, have it by next week, Sir." I delve under the table to find my books, trying to work out whether or not he'd given me my essay back.

"Kimmmiiiii!!!" My head jerks up, hitting the underside of the table. Alexa. She parks her butt on the chair next to me and grins. I decide she's in a good mood. It's not hard to guess. She only has two. Hysterical, giggly happiness or dark, stroppy angriness. Which is why I'm friends with her. Cos the alternative is to be her enemy. Not nice.

I pull myself out from under the table and throw my books on the table.

"Have you handed in your essay?"

Alexa goes pale(er than usual). I rifle through my books until I find my wad of notes then throw them at her head.

"Sherlock Holmes, you idiot."

She grins again and giggles.

"Love youuu, Kimmi."

She knows that I know that she knows that the only reason she's in the top group for English (not that it means much, other than that she gets a decent teacher, rather than the horrendous creatures everybody else gets who enforce drama on them as though their lives depend on it) is Me and My notes, as we are both reminded every time an essay is due. Alexa's not lazy, just has a brain like a goldfish and gets distracted by _everything_. Oh, and takes her art homework super-seriously. So seriously, in fact, that she uses her English lessons on it too. And so I end up practically writing it for her. Or just giving her mine to copy. Either way, I'm not bothered. It's Alexa were talking about her. She'll manage.

And, anyway, she's the only person I've got most lessons.

"Sooo…"

I raise my head and peer over the pile of books I'm attempting to stack alphabetically on the shelf at Sugar. She's sitting on a table, swinging her legs and flicking through the book in her lap. We're in the library, my home for each and every lunchtime. In winter it's warm, in summer it's quiet. What's not to love? Evangeline is off somewhere, probably being dragged around the music department by Alexa. So I grabbed Sugar and dragged her down into the depths of the school, an anti-Evangeline opportunity she'd seized.

"Are you going to the party on Saturday?"

I frown.

"Why? Are _you_?"

She nods sadly, curls bouncing.

"Alexa's making me. Apparently I'm so much fun hyper, I'll be double as much drunk!" Her voice fills with mock enthusiasm and I laugh.

"I'm going." I reassure her. "We'll be fine."

"But what if I hurt myself??? I could end up in hospital!!!!"

"No you won't. I won't let you." I smile at her and she shoots me a worried, kind of twisted grimace.

"So why are you going?"

"My mom made me. And I have to take Victoria, too."

"God help us." I snort and get back to my shelf stacking.

"You can't say that, you don't believe in God."

She sticks her tongue out just as Evangeline rushes in.

"Oh, _my_! The things I get forced in to!" With that, she launches into her story as a dejected-looking Sugar blends back into the bookcase, muttering something like "Science help us."

I meander out of school later that day, with Evangeline, and almost walk right into Victoria, who's scowling like somebody just told her her birthday was cancelled. Evangeline shoots me a quizzical look and I try to remember if I was supposed to collect her. I shake my head at her then turn to Vic.

"What are you doing here?"

"Charming." She snorts, before spinning around and striding off as we attempt to keep up. "Er, _the party_? We need outfits! Jeez, you two are just _too_ dumb sometimes…"

"You want me to wear THIS???" I shriek, staring at myself in the mirror. Victoria sighs.

"Yes. It's not so bad. Mine's shorter, if that's what you're worried about." I glance sideways at her and she's right, despite my so-called dress resembling…nothing anyway. I'm trying to work out whether it actually covers her butt when she stands next to me and looks at us both in the mirror.

"I look way older than you." She smiles at her reflection. She's right. She tosses her silky hair around and sashays around the room. I stare wordlessly at my reflection, at my hair, which doesn't look like it's been brushed in the last three days. I actually don't think it has.

Evangeline's voice floats out from her cubicle.

"Why don't we just wear underwear? I don't see how it could make much difference."

_

* * *

_

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted much, but after the whole ash situation I had (and still have) a week of exams, so I didn't have much chance to write.

_So here ya go._

_Hope you likey._

_R&R_

_Faith, xoxox_


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